One thing that drives me crazy is when people post on social media about how perfect their life is. It’s disingenuous. Why are you pretending everything is great when we all know your “humblebrag” is more of a “tissue-paper illusion” in reality? What is the point?
Well, I’ve done some reading on this very topic, and I learned that the reason people like to make their lives look perfect on social media is not, as most of us assume, so everyone else can be jealous. In fact, we all curate our reality (just like a museum curates art) to one degree or another, but social media lets people take that automatic adjustment – either positive or negative – to extremes. It enables them to not only photoshop their selfies, but their worldview as well.
In small increments, this curation is not such a bad thing. Think about the social media connection you have who is constantly posting negative, vague posts about the people who have wronged them or the nasty ulterior motives of everyone in their life. Is this someone you voluntarily would choose to be around? Probably not because that negativity is contagious, and you want your outlook to be positive! When someone asks you, “How are you today?” the odds are pretty good that you do not launch into a diatribe about the ulterior motives of others. Instead, you probably try to find something good to tell them. That is curating your life, and it’s generally a good thing to do.
The problem, of course, is when you curate to extremes. Extreme curation leads you to post all sorts of misleading, braggadocious things that distort the truth and are written so as to elicit admiration and attention. However, that is not the only form of extreme curation. It is also extreme curation to tell a loved one or trusted friend you are “fine” in response to “How are you?” when, in truth, you need help. It’s the same thing. We all curate, but social media makes it easier than any other medium to take the curation too far.
Which leads me to the topic of this blog post: marriage tips.
My company, Good Success, is one of multiple companies that I own and operate with my wife, Becky Olson. Becky and I have been married for more than 23 years, and I like to post on Facebook and other social media platforms about how much I love her, how beautiful I find her to be, and, sometimes, about smart, wonderful, innovative, or funny things she says or does in family or work settings. Like the song says, “I got my gal/Who could ask for anything more?”
Becky and I have decided to host a 7-day marriage challenge in honor of Valentine’s Day this year because, quite frankly, we think we have some insights to share.
- We’ve been building a family and building businesses together for more than two decades
- We have gone through some seriously painful times in our marriage, including some that rocked us deeply
- I have not always been a perfect husband and my wife has not always been perfect, but we have learned in our marriage together
It’s not our goal to tell you how to live your life or give you a formula for having the “perfect” relationship in your own life. It’s just our goal to be a blessing and an encouragement within the Good Success community and beyond and, hopefully, strengthen a few marriages in the process.
I titled this post, “Why Should I Listen to Marriage Tips from a Guy Without a Perfect Marriage” because a lot of people end up making their marriages look perfect when they talk about how to make a marriage work. We are going to be the opposite by being real, honest, and having an open dialogue right in the videos that make up the Good Success 7-Day Marriage Challenge videos so you can hear both sides of the story, so to speak, and hopefully gain a new and valuable perspective.
I hope you’ll join us in this journey. We learned a lot creating this challenge and we believe that we have important perspectives to share.
So, happy early Valentine’s Day! See you on February 8.